Week 4 of 5 | September 16, 2014
"And if you're not asleep,
cause you're up there somewhere sitting back just listening,
but you won't speak,
and you'll say that it's all for the best cause you know me,
do you know me?"
Sometime last year my friend was telling me that throughout the Bible the Lord is constantly asking us to wake up, to open our eyes and see Him all around us. I remember nodding my head in agreement thinking that I was very much awake, but I hadn't seen or heard from the Lord in a long time. So long that I was sure He had been asleep.
The truth is that sometimes He's just quiet. And faith is believing through the silent moments. It stings a little at first. I wrote "Sleep" when it stung.
Time Will Tell
Week 3 of 5 | September 9, 2014
This is a silly song.
It didn't feel silly at that time. And occasionally it still doesn't.
To place your heart in the hands of another is scary. It's definitely scary. But to hold another's heart is a different kind of fear. A gripping fear because... I don't know what time will tell me. And I don't really have control.
What if I realize I'm not supposed to be holding anyone's heart? Or what if no one is supposed to be holding mine? I pretty much decided to let this fear swallow me whole while I wrote this song.
Then I finished.
And I looked at my fearful, mind on the page in front of me and remembered trust. Not in myself or in anyone else, but trust in Christ. And suddenly the song was silly! Of course I don't know what time will tell me. But I do know what time is telling me right now. To enjoy and to live and to breath with ease. To altogether forget about tomorrow. And to forget how to worry.
That's what time tells me.
Week 2 of 5 | September 2, 2014
In my first few years of songwriting I figured that writing about boys and love and first kisses was the norm. So I did. A lot.
I think I was under the impression that it was the only thing to write about. But because I never had any personal experience in that field, my "love" songs were just about as bubbly as they come.
"Fortress" was written long after that phase. As it turns out, writing music about a genuine relationship is much more difficult.
Everything is suddenly real and much harder to explain.
"Fortress," at its simplest, is about that feeling of being so in sync with someone, so connected that it's like living in a different world. About the feeling that being alone with him drowns out all the other noises in my head.
The happiest kind of quiet.
And even if this is only for a moment, how amazing to know that something like this exists.
Somehow my high school teen pop songs just didn't understand this concept.
Week 1 of 5 | August 26, 2014
As far as songwriting goes, I'm as inefficient as it gets. I'll spend 3 hours wrestling with one line. So to all my songwriting professors out there that are trying to teach me how to co-write... bless your heart.
However this song was done in about twenty minutes. It felt like the song pretty much wrote itself. It was pretty amazing because songs are usually more timid when we first meet.
I remember sitting down in my freshman dorm room and convincing myself that Nashville was where I was supposed to be. I decided that majoring in songwriting was my calling because I was "really going for it" with music.
Turns out everyone in Nashville is "really going for it."
I think that all hope that I had for my life was in music. Coming to Nashville and becoming a singer/songwriter was pretty much THE answer. So basically, if my hands stopped working and I became tone deaf, then I would just have to move back in with my parents and lay in my bed for the rest of my life.
But, very slowly and very painfully I learned that hope isn't something that I could create for myself. As hard as I work and as much of myself that I put into pursuing music, music hasn't made me full yet and I don't think it will.
However, I did find what I was looking for here.
It's not the music itself but the maker of music that found me and told me that He is my purpose. That He is Hope.
Team (Lord Cover)
March 28, 2014
When I grow up, I would like to be Lorde. She's 16.